The Attack

In Mumbai city these days, front page news is d attacks on women by eveteasers.
I, a rida wearing, 40 plus woman never thought I'd ever have to face such a situation..

I was used to using the Metro subway, every morning on my walks. It is a maze like winding
sub most people get daunted by. For me it was just very convenient to use as i could avoid d very busy thoroughfare above by doing so. I was also very happy to note d presence of security persons in d very middle.
Dat fateful day, intent on my radio, i was racing along the subway..
I had just reached d security desk when...
He leaped at me brandishing what seemed like a tennis racket.
I'd always read of people being attacked by muggers, and even practised d various ways of blocking attacks.
Quickly, rida n all i leapt back ! Scream d manual had said, "Kreeeeeegah, Tarzan ! Bundolo! was  wat emerged from d vocal cords.. Hands rolled into fists, i flailed out, intending to grab the racket n land a blow on d mans private parts ( Dats where it hurts d most , d manual said)
The next thing i knew, d guy fled! As fast as his legs could carry him, he was disappearing frm sight! Pleased as punch wid myself i turned around...To find d second security fellow cowering n trembling before me..
 Bewildered i looked at him, slowly he backed away holding the electric fly swatter, in front of him..
I guess d laugh was on me...
My supposed attacker was just d poor harrassed security man who had just located  n was about to zap a pesky fly, wen i sailed out in front of him..  

The lesson

We'd been swimming along fairly smoothly so far.Once in a while, i'd get guilty n announce to whoever was present( and not listening!).to switch off a. d charger hanging drunkenly on d wall, b.d the AC in d empty room, c. the fan n light dat d bai thinks its her prerogative to leave on,never off.. Lik i said, i grumbled away bout bills, but also lik mos things i said n were never heard, all id get was a grunt frm d better half, a sneer from my kid, n a glare frm d bai..
All dat changed however d day my kid joined d green army.
All of a sudden we could switch on lights n fans, only after she gave permission.The AC became a four letter word wich was not to be spoken out loud, d better half escaped as fast as he could, ere d morn to d comforts of his AC'd office, N d bai ? Why ! she became as docile as a cow, once she was promised an extra 30 bucks every month if only she made sure every electrical gadget was off before she left..
As for me, unhappy n hot, i found myself being lectured in exactly d same words dat i used to lecture her wid.
But realising dat i was d worst off, my daughter, out of the kindness of her heart, from d money saved from d bills has bought me a selection of my favourite P.G Wodehouses..
Im still hot, but cant help being proud..The child after all is the Mother of all Women..

 

The Disciplined Lot

I looked out at the sea.....The sea of humans seated in neat rows ahead of me..I looked at them and marvelled..
Just in front of me sat a mother with a small boy of three seated in her lap.Now and then she would talk softly to him..Doling out water n a packet of chips, a hug or two, a soft admonishment to sit still.. Beside her sat a man of huge proportions, uncomfortably wedged in between the sundry other women. Caught in the wrong place at the right time.. The lady with me, a visitor frm our native Sidhpur, sat wide eyed, imbibing the sight of the crowds around her..Thus we sat and waited, the volunteers warning people to sit still and not stand, when the revered one arrived to the mausoleum..
A child, bored with the goings on suddenly stood and shouted," There ! Look there!" The crowd surged and it seemed as if mayhem would erupt..But the sheepish mother waved her hands guiltily, clamped a hand on her errant sons mouth and the crowd subsided once more..
An hour elapsed, maybe more.Shouts could be heard from outside.. Heads turned restlessly, and then! the cavalcade arrived.To a man, or should i say woman, we surged forward ! All patience abandoned, we clambered to our feet, twas every man for himself, when i realised the lady in my charge had disappeared ! In her place, at my feet, sprawled the fat man, from beneath him came a few muffled squeals. I stood mute and paralysed and watched as in a bowling alley, one by one, women tripped and fell adding to the pile up ! Galvanised, i clutched at a small swatch of her dress that was still visible and with a war cry, pulled with all my might, striviung to push the man mountain off her.. Gravity helped and to my relief there she was, crawling out from under the heap, slippers clutched triumphantly, and held high above..As i collapsed on one side with relief, she took out a bottle of water and grinning widely dangled it in front of my nose..

How to make easy the hard task of bringin up a teen.

Initially i was a dumb mum..loud arguments flared whenever i wanted her to do d simplest of things..For example:
 The old me( pleadingly) "Baby, when will u have breakfast ?Its already 10"
She: " whenever ma, not now"
The e-me( e for enlightened): "Hi babe, come n have ur omelette, wid roti..
She: "No way, ma give me d cornflakes"
Me, happily: " coming up, sweety.." She hates eggs, u see.
The old me,in shocked dismay:" Dont tell me ur wearing dis old thing to college!"
She defiantly,"of course i am."
The e-me:"wow dat tee looks good !"
She, recoiling in horror,:" R u sure??? Im changing!"
The old me, despairingly, "When will u ever oil ur hair??"
She: "depends".
The e-me: My, ur hair needs a wash, looks greasy, no? "
She, doubtfully," yeah, does'n it. maybe i should oil it now n hav a bath later.
Nowadays, tho, she seems to have caught on,
She: " Ma, wen will u ever write ur blog??"
Me: " Wenever"
She: " Ma, d comps switched on, ur site is accessed, here's ur specs..
Me: "Oh, it is,huh.. okay...