Tuesday 10 April 2012

Fools Paradise

"Come on. You're so totally in control. After this you'll probably never get the oppurtunity. Just this once, indulge, live life for yourself. Do what you want to do. You'll be so guilt ridden it'll make a better husband of you !"  
"Do you even know what you're doing ? Do you love the babies or not ? Would you risk their future for..for this fling ? You know Sunaina. She's very possessive about you. She sacrificed her career for you. Is this even worth thinking about ? What if she finds out ? What if she leaves you ? What will your friends, your family, say?"

Sighing, he leaned back on his chair. All the dilemmas of life, had forever been analysed thus, comic book style, in his head. On one side the devil and temptation, on the other the angel, halo and all. Sugandha, or Sue, as she called herself was seduction personified. She could have any of the males, who  panted after her, in office. But of course, she wanted the one man she couldn't have, the boss, himself.God knows he had resisted her subtle overtures. Until now.

The conferance, in Goa, had been a success. He was on a high, career driven, ambitious, life lived on the run. Marriage to his sweetheart had been heady, until the babies happened. Somehow, their paths had branched out. When he returned home at night, after a gruelling day at the office, all he wanted was the bed. To sleep on, 'crash' was the word he liked to use. Sunaina, was understanding at first, then frustrated, then indifferent, as the years went by. In eight years, he had gone from strength to strength, rising up the corporate ladder until he garnered the finances to go it alone. Now he was the head honcho, the boss. King of his domain.

Where had he gone wrong ? Why was his life this empty ? Sunaina was still beautiful. She had thrown herself into gymming, and he was the envy of most of his mates. But at night, when they lay on different sides of the bed, back to each other, the space between them resonated with their angst, their loneliness, their lack of communication.

So now, he was going to explore this space. He wanted to know, if he was attractive to a woman as sensous as Sue. Tonight, he would find out.

Sunaina, stretched her cramped limbs. She would have to freshen up, before she went to meet him. It had been tough to leave the children with her mum, but it was now or never. She had to take the time out, do this for herself. She had had enough of being taken for granted. After a long time, she felt excited, alive. Ready to take on the world. As the flight landed in Goa, she gathered herself and her belongings and alighted from the plane.

The restaurant was dimly lit. The music, soft, beguiling. She sat at the back of the restaurant, almost in the shadows. Every sense was alert, watching them. As they rose to join the couples on the dance floor, his hand glided, hesitantly at first, down her back. As the lights fell on them, one could almost feel the chemistry between them, palpable, building up. He was in uncharted waters, drawn inexorably towards the quicksand of his desires, wafting towards the unknown, drowning in her liquid eyes.

She sat as if turned to stone. She had planned to surprise him, but what was unfolding before her eyes had her petrified, benumbed. When the music stopped she found she had tears in her eyes. Getting up, she retreated, then made a dash for her rooms. Every fibre of her being urged her to go to his room. Wait for him, confront him, scream at him, like she had wanted to sometimes, when he slept soundly, even as she lay awake, wanting, craving the intimacy, that had once been such a vital part of their marriage. Resolutely, she got to her feet, redid her face, then called the front desk. She was going to wait for him. In his room.

The door swung open. Footsteps, familiar ones resounded in her ears as she sat on her haunches, crouched within the balcony. Heart thudding, pulses quickening, senses afire, she waited. Did she even want to confront him ? Was he worth all of this, she could just not demean herself like this.

No. she couldn't go thru with this charade. "Mata Hari, I'm not !" she told herself. Getting to her feet, she called out, " Rajeev !" as she moved into view of the bedroom.

He sat on the bed stunned. Sunaina stood before him, equally stupefied. "You're alone!" she exclaimed. Bewildered, she looked around the room, before collapsing in tears, her body wracked with sobs.

The dance had ended. As they headed back to their table, he looked around self consciously. A glint of electric blue caught his eye. The couple on the table across sat holding hands, a two year old perched on the man's lap, looking wistfully at the floor, as the music started again. "They're playing our song," the lady exclaimed as the haunting strains of 'The Titanic's' love song floated across the room. Rajeev could see that they were longing to dance, but the baby was restless and they would have to leave. "Excuse me," he found himself saying, " Do you want me to hold her for you ? Im good with babies, i have two of my own. " Gratefully, they got up, and handing her to him, they went to the dance floor, eyes only for each other. The baby, sucking her thumb sleepily, nestled her head against the velvet of his coat, the soft fragrance of her filling his nostrils. He had almost forgotten how amazing it felt to hold a baby. When they returned, they thanked him profusely, and were surprised to have him thank them instead. "I was living in a fool's paradise, thank you."

Only later would he realise just how much he owed them.


1 comment:

  1. loved the bit where the kid came in and changed his thinking..really good story..

    ReplyDelete