Thursday 5 April 2012

Friends

"Don't have anything to do with him. You can't take this relationship anywhere." Jeev was so emphatic. My best friend, i hated to admit she was right. "But it feels so right, i have to find out whether he is The One for me." The heart after all listens only to its own dictates. "Its a dead end, because he's already married. He's not likely to give it all up. Men are like that only. " A trifle bitterly, she added "They want to have their cake and eat it too." I reached out to hold her hand, then. She ought to know, she had taken such a long time to get over that idiot, Rohan. "Trust me on this, please Sammy. I Know. Lets go for a holiday, then when we come back you give him an answer. Believe me, distance gives you a new perspective." So we left the next week, for Darjeeling and the most amazing girls only holiday i ever went to. She was right too, for i came back and switched jobs. Far away from 'Mr. Right', who was already romancing the girl who replaced me. I met them, at 'our' usual haunt, the CCD near the station.

What would i do without her.

I'd first met her in school. A newbie, she broke tradition when she was elected school President. No, she was'nt tall and statusque. She was on the contrary short, bespectacled. But so were Alexander The Great, Napoleon, Hitler. Oh, she was destined for great things, i was convinced. Like me, she dreamt big, unlike me, she took life by the scruff of its neck, and plunged headlong into the murkiest waters, only to emerge unscathed, with a band of admirers to boot. Of whom i was one. Only i was honored, because she chose me to be her best friend, confidant. So i followed her in awe, inspired and amazed at her energies.

We both started learning Spanish. She mastered it. We both started guitar lessons, she formed a band, i became the cheering audience. We both dreamt of opening a library. When she opened one, i chose the name: Book Nook, and became the first member. She was me, and i was her.

We had both thought that i would succumb first, but she found her dream man first, and was married soon after. Within the year she had conceived the child she had always wanted. In parting she gave me the most wonderful gift ever: my favorite music, English, Classical, country and rock, Hindi ghazals, film.  Prerecorded on twenty cassettes, neatly listed and labelled, packed in an exclusive leather case.With an accompanying Sony Walkman. I was dumbstruck, because i couldn't ever have competed with that. All i could give her was a book of Art works that she had forever coveted.

I teetered on many a pit, she gently guided me back. Yet she never really intruded. We both married the man of our dreams. We both lead lives in different cities.

Life was not always rosy. When i had the accident, and was laid up for eight months, she was with me. It was she who inspired me to write, convincing me i had the talent to do it. When i lost the child i conceived after eight years of marriage, she was beside my bed. Physically, mentally, she infused her strength in me, wiping my tears with the gents handkerchief that she always carried, coaxing me to embrace life again. "Go, get your drivers' license, learn to drive a car, it's the most cathartic thing you will ever do." It truly was.

In all its myriad hues, i faced life, Jeev made it so easy for me. All i had to do was visit her grave, and sit there for a while. She even made me lose my fear of death. You see, i lost her soon after she married and died of a brain tumour, in child birth. But she lived on in me. All the tribulations that i faced, were overcome because she was with me. I lived life as she would have. It helped that i had her amazing gift with me: the gift of everlasting friendship.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you wrote about her..look up to your friendship..and what you are and what you do..

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